There is this myth that men cannot possibly understand what a female or an ethnic minority feels. But that is not true.
When we got bullied, no one cared, not feminists, not minorities, no one.
As a feminine man, life was not easy growing up because I was not masculine enough and did not conform to male behavior standards of the time.
I had no friends and was called names and beaten up simply because I wasn’t masculine enough. My parents looked down on me and chastized me for not being manly enough. And even women would reject me because I was too feminine.
This affected my self-esteem for most of my life. And even today, there are people who will mock me for not conforming to gender roles and standards.
Yet, I constantly hear from women, that as a male, I could not possibly understand what they were going through. And that, apparently, I know nothing of abuse because of the color of my skin or because I have male anatomy. Transgender and gay men can’t possibly know abuse and mistreatment? Not true.
On one side, I was bullied for not being masculine enough, and then on the other side, feminists would treat me harshly as well, because they assumed I was a masculine man and lumped me in with the very people who were abusing me.
It is not okay to attack innocent people because they remind you of some abuser, but that is what people did and still do, all of the time.
No One to Protect Us
What people don’t get is that women have always had each other and feminists to look out for them. Minorities always had friends, family, and activists to look out for them.
One of the reasons I stand up for victims of all forms of bullying and abuse is because absolutely no one stood up for me… at all.
Do you know what I had when I grew up? None of that.
No friends, no internet to find like-minded people, there was no such thing as transgenderism, and certainly no activists protecting us.
We were freaks and absolutely no one was standing for us. We were alone. And alone, I mean not even friends alone.
When we got bullied, no one cared, not feminists, not minorities, no one. In fact, feminists and minorities participated in the bullying. And yet I hear that I will never understand what a woman or minority feels like. I am sorry, but that is not true.
One of the reasons I stand up for victims of all forms of bullying and abuse is because absolutely no one stood up for me… at all.
Abuse is Not Okay.
So when I hear that females are the only ones who know pain, and men will never understand, I get upset, because females bullied me growing up too. They were the bullies. I want to say that again: females were also bullies against us. So they can’t say they know better when they were bullies as well.
Bullying and hate and abuse are not okay no matter who you are. There is no excuse. There is no “I suffered more so it’s okay to abuse people.” No. Abuse is not okay. Period.